Loud

Close your eyes

You’ll see my soul,

It’s full of lies,

Black, like coal.

I might be mean,

Cruel and heartless.

Nothing unseen,

But regardless

Painfully phrasing

All that abides.

It’s amazing

What a smile hides.

Addiction is never evil

73

Stars… The stars are out tonight… Wait stars? Where am I? I’m in a field or maybe a clearing? I don’t know… All I know is that I wasn’t here when I went to sleep. Damn it I need to find a way out of here. Should I yell for help? What am I thinking there is a forest right there, I’m no expert, but I’m damn sure you don’t go yelling when you wake up in an unknown location. 

I just wish I had a lighter or something, hell a compass would be awesome right about now. Where should I go? I don’t have much of a choice I’ll end up in the woods no matter what way I go. What the hell? Okay… calm down. What was I doing? Last thing I remember I was getting ready for bed… I had been out with friends before; they had been trying to set me up with some girl… I left early and got home safe… shit, what the hell happened  I wasn’t drunk, well sure I drank one beer, but that’s about it, I got out before anything happened. Maybe one of the guys drugged me and this is some weird drug high? I don’t feel different, I can think clearly, if you don’t count a fuzzy memory. No it couldn’t have been that bad, I hope.

What was that? I think I saw something move to the left of me. Do I follow a possible serial killer or do I stay here? There is a bigger chance of survival if I go to the forest, sitting ducks never live long.

Where did that thing go? It was somewhere around here. I feel uneasy; I keep looking back every five seconds. Oh crap that was a twig that was loud as hell. Fuck! Did something just move? I think I heard something. Every muscle in my body is screaming run, but if I do I will get disorientated, and that’ll make finding my way back even harder. Back to tree, back to tree… Stay as calm as you can James. You are in deep shit right now and the worst you can do is panic. 

It’s quiet… I think I’m safe… I should keep going… Okay, easy now let’s try moving this way, away from any psycho killers that want to murder you. Avoiding branches and twigs no need for any additional noise. This forest is deep and the further I go the more lost I feel. Way to stay optimistic there pal, you’re so going to live…

How long have I been walking? Good news is I’ve calmed down, so I got that going for me. This is so much bullshit. Nope, nope, nope! I did not just see a shadow move. A very male, hood wearing shadow… No I’m not going to panic, stay calm. If the psycho wanted to kill me I would be dead now, so conclusion I’m either a source of entertainment or I’m not supposed to die. I would appreciate the later, if possible. 

All of these shadows look alike to me and… Hello ground long time no see… Out of all the roots in this forest I had to trip on this one. Great… Is that clapping? Da’ fuck? Get up! Need to get up now! Where is it coming from? 

“Grace might leave you, and you don’t have a clue, but brave soul you stand. May I shake your hand?”

Wow where did this guy come from? He was right behind me and this guy looks like the shadow I saw earlier, male, around the same build as I am, wearing a hoodie, kind of medieval looking, but I can’t really tell in the dark. I can’t see his face, the hood is shadowing it and the midnight lighting isn’t doing anything to help me here. And did he just speak in rhyme? I’m guessing, because I’m still alive, I should shake his hand…

“Umm… Sure… Who are you?” 

“One born of the dark, I passes Noah’s ark. Names have failed me, only meant for a flea. I stand as no one, but a single son. Brought from shadows here, to find the puppeteer”  

He does speak in rhymes… Really unclear ones… What the hell? 

“Okay… So I’m going to go that way” I said pointing to the right. I may want to get out of here, but I doubt that this guy can help me.

“Exits hide in sight so plain, yet you look in such disdain. The woods bring allies to your wake, alas you run from them like from a snake. Is there reason to your concern? Or have you nothing to learn? I bring no harm or foul play, you need not begin to pray” 

I got somethin’ about exits and that he’s a friend? Or something like that… and I need to trust him, because the forest said so? 

“You… know the way out of here?” Let’s hope for the best.

“Knowledge equals power, for every delicate flower. If one puts faith in the dark, he might leave without a mark”

“Is that a yes?” Dude nodded, that’s good enough for me. “So, where do we go from here?”

“The path twists and turns, like hell fire it burns. Fear not for fire is not real, meant only to harden the ordeal. Head to stars of early morning, thus heed my warning. We face off things of mind that are never kind”

Let’s see it’s going to be dangerous, but it’s not real…  I don’t get it…

“Got it, lead the way”

To my luck the hooded guy didn’t say a thing and turned on his heel and headed in the opposite direction. This guy might be weird, but he knows where he’s going and that’s good enough for me. What am I saying… I’m with some weird lunatic who talks in rhymes walking around in some fucked up forest and I have no idea what’s what, I’m so fucked.

Should I make small talk? I barely understand the guy when he’s giving directions, hell know what will happen when I try to understand what he says in a normal conversation… I wonder how bad I would be off if I ditched this guy? By the looks of it I just have to head straight, or maybe I should try beating the directions out of him? 

Fire… Burning fire… and it’s moving… Okay what the actual fuck? It looks like some beefed up deer on fire!

“Beast of dreams that haunt this place, best move along before it gives chase. Don’t stare too long or hand your soul, let your body slowly turn to cowl”

“Wait dreams? I’m dreaming?”

“You walk the land of sleep, like a lost young sheep. Without the idea of your state? What a terrible fate”

“I’m sleeping… Oh my God I’m sleeping… What kind of drugs did those dicks give me?”

“No drug forced you here, did you not hear? Explanations were given, ignorance is rarely forgiven”

“Sorry… I didn’t understand at first…” He kind of sounds pissed.

“It matters little, I will not belittle. We move fast, the exit is near at last”

“I understood that” I have to keep up with him. Shit I kind of feel bad for not understanding him at first, but what kind of dream gives me a guy who speaks in rhyme? 

Finally the exit! This fucking forest has ended and I’m home free. Wait… Rhyme guy isn’t coming?

“Aren’t you getting out of here?”

“You leave as each night you do, I stay and hope for a meeting with you. You brought me joy, from the times you were a boy. Fleeting as it may be, but that’s the end of me. The exit is found, the king is crowned. The shadow serves no use, best to put him on a hangman’s noose… Best be on your way, try not to stray”

“What are you talking about? Noose? Are you saying you’re going to die? What the hell? This is some messed up dream?”

“There is no purpose for one such as me, in a world of wake filled with mystery. My time is done and I have served my king, so let all of the birds sing”

For some reason everything he’s saying is pissing me off. Damn it! I can’t leave this guy alone to die. I grab hold of his hand and pull him along to the exit. He is putting up a fight, but I manage to pull us out…

_____

A man awakes in his bed, his eyes hazy as he watches the ceiling. As minutes pass the man’s lips stretched into a twisted grin and he speaks:

“The king now lies on a bed of stone. Without a crown, without a home”

End

No comments from me today.

Have a dreamy day.

Please hear me

69 part 3

A week… a god damn week has past and I cannot say a stinking word! To say I’m pissed is an understatement! Hell I’ve been trying to speak every day, during visiting hours and after, every single moment I’m awake I’m trying to say something, but it all comes out as a week whisper or some kind of grunt or other weird noise! At least I can use a phone to talk to others; my hands have not failed me yet.

Speaking of hands, I would love to have mine on the nurses hips right now, but I couldn’t sneak up to her, because I sound like a one man band, that is tone deaf, when I try to walk. It’s hard to get out of bed when the damn thing is three feet in the air and I have this crazy ass shit strapped on to me that makes more noise than needed.

“Miss, are you alright?”

“Fine… just wish I could get these things out of me…”

I write on the phone and raise my hand with the needle. Victoria chuckles at my pained expression, that laugh makes me forget all the discomfort of this place.

“You should be patient”

“I am a patient”

I have a very bad affinity for puns when flirting, but Veronica likes it, so it’s all good. Also the good nurse is fond of my advances; I’d be lying if I said I didn’t flirt with her. I made a pass at her every hour of every day and best part of it all, Victoria never complains about it, she even gives me a little swing of her hips once and a while. I am so getting laid.

“Hey Steph! Ready to go outside”

Chris and that stupid wheelchair… I swear that guy wants something to bush around and look after. Sadly enough, that something is me. At least I got things cleared up with him. Chrisy is 100% gay and proud of it and he is a great wingman and an even greater cockblock. This guy has ruined my quality time with the nurse so many times in just one week, I have sworn to cockblock every date he tries to get for the next three months.

Ok, ok you can stop checking I’m damn comfortable in the shity chair. You could have asked the nurse to take care of that part you know…

“I’ll bring her back later”

“Cockblock”

“What? What did I do this time?”

“You came in when we were alone! I was having a moment!”

“No you were not… I’m sorry Steph don’t ignore me”

…

“Steph?”

…

“Come on, I didn’t screw up that bad”

…

“You’ll have plenty of chances later”

“With you nursing me back to health! Doubtful… Why don’t you let the professionals do their jobs?”

“Steph…”

“Don’t!”

“But… I…”

“Chrisy I swear you don’t stop those puppy dog eyes right now, I will…”

 

Shit… Shit… SHIT.

“Stop with the eyes already, I’m not angry…”

“I know. Just messing with you”

I hate him so much… but I can’t hate him for long… he has redeeming qualities don’t judge me…

“So Steph what do you want to know about today?”

“Let’s go with high school”

Chris has been helping me ‘remember’ things from my past, which is just him talking non-stop for four hours straight. It hasn’t helped in any way I still don’t remember a single thing…

“You were a pro in PE. You could beat any guy when it came to sports…”

Wow… his voice is kind of fading… What the hell? I can’t concentrate… Hey Chris stop talking for a minute and pay attention, bad shit is happening and you need to get the nurse! I can’t move… Fuck! Chris this is bad! Pay attention! Damn I can’t do anything and you are too blind to see what is going on right in front of you! Shit…

Black spots… Damn it… This is bullshit… Chris for the love of… please get help I’m in serious trouble here… You’re my only hope… Please hear me…

End

I know this might have been bad, but the story escaped me and I tried bringing it to a close with having the character die. Best way to end any story.

Thank you for reading and maybe what I was trying to say in this was… you should listen to what people say… not in the literal sense, but watch for signs that maybe they are struggling with something and they are trying to reach out, but no one sees that. But that is just me rambling…

Have a long life.